Friday, March 21, 2008

Moments and Music.

It was one of those moments.

Yeah, it was a hard quarter.
Yeah, a lot happened.
A lot of words were said, good and bad.
Conversations were had,
Complaints,
Conversations of questioning, of uncertainty, of fatigue, of heartache, and of sadness.

But.

There were conversations of hope.
There were moments of intense peace, of connection, of Love in just about every sense of the word,
Of joy and silliness, and of friendship and community (which is something that I had taken or granted).
There were so many laughs; more laughs than tears.
Comfort, safety, repair, release, refill, refresh.
Moments of nonstop chatter, moments of stillness.
Words and prayers filled the air in moments.
Smiles, hugs, clear eyes and sunshine.

It was a really hard quarter.
But.

There was a moment yesterday.
Sitting in the back seat of the car watching the mountain farms pass, trying to let go of what I was leaving on the road behind me in Athens, I hear Aaron Marsh sing words that He gave him to sing for me at that moment, and they fill my voice, fill my ears, my brain, my lungs...

"It's been a long two years
It's time to smile
We've made it this far
Just like you said
just like you said we would.

There are no more tears
We've used them all
So now we'll rely on our laughter
And the faith that pain brings joy.

I hope that you can see
The strength that pulled us through..."


No words could have been more true in those minutes watching the sun turn the sky orange, then pink behind the outlines of horses and fences on the mountain tops.

I'm home now, sitting in the large recliner, Sigur Ros floating in the air around me, and there is mending, as there always is when I return home.
Next quarter might be hard. The sunshine will help. But I'm growing and I will keep growing through the sunshine.


Lord, you provide the Joy that pain can sometimes bring. You are what mends me, you bring me home safely, you give truth and beauty to the conversations, the moments, the music.
You save me each morning as the sun breaks over mountains.