Holler(back)

'What's new Makella?' is most likely the question running through all your heads. I know it.


I should be going to bed soon, seeing as how I an working at eight tomorrow and did today ('black friday' as us in the retail biz call it)... but I figure, hey, why not update a little?

Anyways, the quarter ended out alright. I completely praise God because I am satisfied with my grades; everything turned out alright, as it usually does when He is involved. The cold is clearing up as well and I'm feeling back to myself.

I was reflecting to a friend the other day that when I am at school I really do not feel like myself... well, I do not feel like the normal version of Makella. It is like the stresses of school stuff work their way into my personality. The visual I have in my head is kind of like the normal guy who changes into the hulk.
Maybe not quite as dramatic.
Needless to say, I do not like the way that I am during the school year. I know that I should not worry because if God cares for and provides for the birds and the worms and the parasites and all of.. everything... then of course, He will provide for and care for me... words I need to heed.
It's good though. I am home, I am more of myself. I pray that this stays with me through the over 20 hours I am scheduled to be taking next quarter.
It has something to do with the shaking up of the water with dirt in it that our pastor Paul talked about a few weeks back, but I need to do more reflecting on that.

The Rob Bell quote a few entries down has been something I have been thinking about a bit. Some of it has to do with my insecurities (which I might have mentioned), but I had a really awesome talk with a good friend of mine the other day about some of what I have been thinking about in regards to all that. He said something pretty simple and straight forward, but it stayed in my head for a while.
He said that no mater what I do, I can't separate the fact that I was made by a perfect God.
I can't change the fact that I was perfectly knit together by a God who loves me.
I can't separate myself from the fact that I am loved.
It's pretty amazing, isn't it? It's a sobering thought (in a good way), to know that I am wholly and completely loved for exactly who I am. I do not have my copy of Velvet Elvis at the moment, but there is a quote from it that I will put in here when I get it back.

Even though I do find myself worrying about unnecessary things, or being irrational about other things, God still has this amazing transient way of being in that. Being inside the middle of all that to show His face and ease things a little, help bear the burden. I know that I would not be able to get through normal mortal life if it wasn't for that.

Prayer requests:
1. That I can look everything; the world, people, situations, through His eyes.
2. Safe travels for family and friends during the holidays.
3. That I can feel God's presence in the everyday.
4. Clarity and guidance on hazy situations.
5. People who are far from knowing Him with no interest in knowing Him at all. There are some of whom I love every much, and it's heart breaking.
6. The people who I work with.

Thank you God for your guidence, grace, and patience.
You are what wakes me and rejuvenates me.
I place my life in your hands.
Amen

So Much

If I'm unable when you are calling
If I'm unable...

If I'm unable when you are calling
If I'm unable...

When all we have is taken,
All we have is taken now

Take my affliction,
I'm cured with your comfort.
Take my affliction.

Take my depression,
I'm cured with your comfort.
Take my depression.

Will you learn fire burns?
When all we have is taken...

I'm falling to grace again
When all we have is taken...

Take it all, take it now, I surrender...
Hallelujah...

When All We Have Is Taken/Comfort
Edison Glass

Hittin' Home.

You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are. If you're still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way. You'll be at odds with your maker. And if you can't come to terms with who you are and the life you've been given, you'll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect.

-Rob Bell
from Sex God

I think I need to pay heed to this a little better. Some of my insecurities are showing their ugly heads and I don't like how I am when I focus on them too much. Please pray that I can just be thankful instead of uneasy.

This is what I do...

instead of study for exams.




I found this from when I had my last accounting exam... I think I get antsy...

Trailerpark

So, without typing too much about it tonight (seeing as it's almost 2:30 in the am)... I have a position on the audio team for the feature-length movie the School of Media Arts and Studies is making.

It includes guinea pigs. Lots of them.
Which will require folly and some other random guinea pig noises, so some of the team got together tonight to record some oinks.. this is what came from it...


(This was made my my friend Andy, by the way...)

UO

I have been using the word 'epic' to describe what the show was like October 30th, 2008 at Bogart's in Cincinnati, but I'm not sure that does it justice.

It's always been difficult for me to describe emotions, feelings, important events, and the like without tripping over my words... but you'll just have to trust me about this one.

The pictures don't really do it all justice either, but getting a good shot was kind of difficult whilst trying to stay standing amidst the crowd, pits, and what have you.

I had been looking forward to the show for the entire quarter... especially recently with accounting and all that 'tough stuff' that I have been working my way through at school; being there just made it all worth while. Seeing them play live was amazing, yes. Watching the crowd react was also awesome, but at one point during the set, Spencer (vocals) let the crowd know that the reason they were on that stage was because of Jesus. At one point he said "You can take this with you when you leave, or you can leave it at the door..." and someone behind me yelled "I'm gonna take it with me!" and everyone cheered. From that point on, I could feel the holy spirit in there with everyone, as cheesy as it sounds... and even though most people in there didn't realize it, but the musicians on that stage were completely glorifying the Lord by using the gifts they had been blessed with to point out that the One who created us has the ability to save us from our 'dead-end cycle." A bit after, they played their song Too Whom It May Concern.. there was something deeper there then the crowd might have realized..

So hold your head up high and know, it's not the end of the road.
Walk down this beaten path before you pack your things and head home.
At the end of the road, you'll fins what you've been longing for.

I know 'cause my feet have the scars to show
I was lost with vague direction and no place to call home.

It's time for you to press on
This is not your war
Set you sights to the North and press on
This is not your escape
Wash away what they thought of you
Because in this place, we're all as good as dead end cycle.

Behind the mask you'll find yourself alone
It's not the end of the road for you.

To me, those lyrics completely sum up the human condition. We constantly feel like we are walking this difficult path. Our feet do have scars, but it isn't the end of the road. We weren't made to walk this Earth, it's all temporary because the 'North' is where we are supposed to be, it's where we are striving to go, and when we do all the scars will be gone.

I knew what those lyrics meant before seeing the song performed live, but seeing how the people there reacted to this message of hope that these musicians were bringing to them just made everything fit again for me. If I can be a part of spreading this message of hope to people, to a scene where the outlook on life is so incredibly dismal, then all this stuff here at school, the accounting, the hoops that I am jumping through, will be completely and totally worth while, one-hundred-fold.
This is what my soul longs to do.

Lord, I can not event try to describe the feeling of peace I have knowing that you have a plan for me, for all of this. I can't begin to describe what I feel when there is music. I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for all of this; this life, this love, everything. You know my thoughts. It is so good.

Without a vision,
the people perish.
Proverbs 29:18