Kinda dark..
This is my favorite picture ever.
This is the last installment of my favorite pictures... there might be more in the far future...
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
And Finally...
Kinda dark..
This is my favorite picture ever.
This is the last installment of my favorite pictures... there might be more in the far future...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
So... It's Been a While...
Right, sorry it's been a while since I've posted (if anyone noticed), but I was away this weekend at Fall Retreat for Campus Crusade (which I'm descipeling with this year), and it was really great. The weather was perfect, and the area was absolutly gorgeous. The camp was surrounded by mountains and its the time of year when the leaves start changing and the mountain-sides are speckled with all sorts of warm colors... I could feel God in those mountains.
Well, I have been working on some things in the days since retreat... and Im going to share some of the things I've learned.
My busy schedule is preventing me from hearing God speak in my life. When there is not time to read His words or hear His voice, how am I to know how to live?
I am going to invest more in my relationships with my sisters in Christ.
I am trying not harbor jealousy, and I am trying not to compare myself with others, people are different.
I not going to tear down those that I care about by putting them down or being blatantly sarcastic.
I am going to be respectful of those younger or with different levels of experience than myself.
I am not gong to act differently around different people.
I am not going to act differently around my brothers in Christ. I am not going to use them and I am going to love them because they are my brothers.
I am going to build others up.
So, yeah, it was a really good weekend, I became a lot close with the people in Campus Crusade and learned a lot about myself.
Oh, if you have never stood up in a car while the sunroof is open with the car is going 60mph and there are painted mountains around you, you should put that on your list of things to do.
Well, I have been working on some things in the days since retreat... and Im going to share some of the things I've learned.
My busy schedule is preventing me from hearing God speak in my life. When there is not time to read His words or hear His voice, how am I to know how to live?
I am going to invest more in my relationships with my sisters in Christ.
I am trying not harbor jealousy, and I am trying not to compare myself with others, people are different.
I not going to tear down those that I care about by putting them down or being blatantly sarcastic.
I am going to be respectful of those younger or with different levels of experience than myself.
I am not gong to act differently around different people.
I am not going to act differently around my brothers in Christ. I am not going to use them and I am going to love them because they are my brothers.
I am going to build others up.
So, yeah, it was a really good weekend, I became a lot close with the people in Campus Crusade and learned a lot about myself.
Oh, if you have never stood up in a car while the sunroof is open with the car is going 60mph and there are painted mountains around you, you should put that on your list of things to do.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Thoughts
There are times when I am questioning.
Questioning that this is what is supposed to happen, that I should be studying music production or music at all. Just becuase I am interested in it, should I be dedicating my life to it? Should I have picked something more "practical" and risk being bored or unsatisfied?
I know that my purpose in this world is to spread God's love. I am here to be a servant; to show His love to those around me.
I have very specific plans and ideas in my head about how I am going to use music production (ir possibly performing) as my particular ministry but what if I made that up?
There are times when I think about my future and I feel like I am stumbling through a darkened room, knocking around to find my way.
But there are times when, like a beam of pure white light, something will happen. A moment will happen that feels like the gears of the world are rotating tandomly, like the cosmic gasses coming together to form a white hot star, like the spokes of my life are slotting into place and fit. And when these moments happen, my heart beats with it and I feel that it is right, that I am being guided steady and patiently through the darkened room which doesn't seem quite so dark.
Music is something that keeps me moving. I have this passion and peace and there is a reason for this. I am not supposed to just toss this passion to the side to pursue something safe and "practical." I am going to use it, to the best of my abilities. Maybe it is not through recording or production, but it is going to happen. I was to glorify Him using this passion for music.
There is something about it that moves people. It can reach into the hardest, darkest parts of people. It can inspire, it can bring people together in deeper ways, it comforts, it influences, it soothes and excites. There is perfection in music but there is also assymmetry; completed or open-ended; resolved or conflicted. Flowing. Spiking. Seamless and separated.
I can breathe with it.
I can feel God (Holy Spirit) more so in music that any other thing or experience in this world. I have felt the intense peace and perfection that can only come from the Author of Peace. My soul is thick and heavy with it, drunk with it, saturated and full and there is joy.
God has blessed this world, the world around me, with the perfection that is music and I pray that I can use it, forever for my life.
Questioning that this is what is supposed to happen, that I should be studying music production or music at all. Just becuase I am interested in it, should I be dedicating my life to it? Should I have picked something more "practical" and risk being bored or unsatisfied?
I know that my purpose in this world is to spread God's love. I am here to be a servant; to show His love to those around me.
I have very specific plans and ideas in my head about how I am going to use music production (ir possibly performing) as my particular ministry but what if I made that up?
There are times when I think about my future and I feel like I am stumbling through a darkened room, knocking around to find my way.
But there are times when, like a beam of pure white light, something will happen. A moment will happen that feels like the gears of the world are rotating tandomly, like the cosmic gasses coming together to form a white hot star, like the spokes of my life are slotting into place and fit. And when these moments happen, my heart beats with it and I feel that it is right, that I am being guided steady and patiently through the darkened room which doesn't seem quite so dark.
Music is something that keeps me moving. I have this passion and peace and there is a reason for this. I am not supposed to just toss this passion to the side to pursue something safe and "practical." I am going to use it, to the best of my abilities. Maybe it is not through recording or production, but it is going to happen. I was to glorify Him using this passion for music.
There is something about it that moves people. It can reach into the hardest, darkest parts of people. It can inspire, it can bring people together in deeper ways, it comforts, it influences, it soothes and excites. There is perfection in music but there is also assymmetry; completed or open-ended; resolved or conflicted. Flowing. Spiking. Seamless and separated.
I can breathe with it.
I can feel God (Holy Spirit) more so in music that any other thing or experience in this world. I have felt the intense peace and perfection that can only come from the Author of Peace. My soul is thick and heavy with it, drunk with it, saturated and full and there is joy.
God has blessed this world, the world around me, with the perfection that is music and I pray that I can use it, forever for my life.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
"O Praise Him" David Crowder
This chapter in his book Praise Habit came at the best time... I hope you enjoy it.
O PRAISE HIM (ALL THIS FOR A KING)
words and music david crowder
"I've only been angry at the entire human race on two occasions. Well three, but two times I was really angry. Now I know we've done some pretty atrocious things to one another at different moments throughout history so I don't want to appear trite or oblivious to some horrific events that have been apart of our collective experience when sharing my two moments of anger with you. I am not ignoring the wars or marginalized peoples or hate crimes or the holocaust or on and on. No you see these moments are almost expected. Historically we look back and see this as a part of the human condition. But the two moments I really lost it with you guys were not expected. The first time was about 9 yrs ago. It was my first time to fly on a plane. I of course was quite nervous, understandably so. I mean it just makes no sense, a bulk of metal floating in air. I had read about the Bernoulli principle and lift force and all. How lift force is caused because there is more pressure below the wing than above it due to its curved on top, flat on bottom shape. The faster the plane moves, the more air passes above and below the wing, so the greater the difference in pressure. Once the lift force is more than the weight of the airplane, the plane takes off. I had read all of this somewhere. But please, a bulk of metal floating in air?
I was nervous. It was raining outside which added to the nerves. We boarded the plane. I had a window seat. I said hello to the elderly gentleman sitting next to me and told him it was my first time to fly. He started talking about Bernoulli and I said, "I know. Thank you very much." and began reading the emergency evacuation card. I counted the seats between the exit row and me. We taxied to the runway, the pilot announced to us all that we were "cleared for take off" and then I was pressed to my seat by the amount of acceleration necessitated to create enough "lift force". It worked! The Bernoulli principle worked! We climbed through the rain and then disappeared into a gray fog. Looking out the window I could see nothing. Just gray. Gray, gray, gray and then...oh my word. We broke through the clouds and it was the most stunning thing I'd ever seen. The sun was a brilliant orange red just above the horizon, which, was puffy white, almost ocean like, reflecting and retaining color all at the same time. It was heavenly. I couldn't breath it was so gorgeous. As I sat there in complete awe I began to realize I was feeling something completely unexpected. I was angry. I mean really, really angry. I was mad at the old man sitting next to me. I was mad at Bernoulli. I was mad at my parents. I was mad at everyone, all of you. How had no one told me? I knew scores of people who had flown on a plane. Why didn't someone, anyone tell me it was this beautiful? Why hadn't you stopped me on the street and said "so, so sorry, I don't know you at all but you simply must fly in a plane on a cloudy day. It's the most beautiful moment imaginable when you finally burst through the gray. It's so peaceful and angelic up there. Here's $499 go anywhere you like just go now!" I was so mad! I stopped the flight attendant as she walked by and said, "Do you see this? Is that not incredible?" "What?" she said. I hated her. I tell everyone I know about this. I tell you now. It will take your breath away.
I've flown quite often since then. In fact being that most of what I do involves travel I fly most every month and some weeks every day. I always ask for a window seat. And I've grown to love airplanes and Bernoulli. There is this sound that is only the sound of sitting in an airplane. The sound of air, this whirring hiss that itself is a little angelic. You can cup your hands to your ears almost covering them completely and come close to duplicating it but not quite. You hear that? The only way I know to describe it is airy. Well during one of my flights I was listening to this sound and looking out the window at waves of white clouds with sunlight turning a section of them yellow and this phrase popped into my head, "all this for a king". I had this image of an ocean of angels in song and their voices like none ever heard. English probably not the language of choice and for some reason in my head it seemed like the sound of air, a sound that contained all the pitches and tonal colors at once and was at once overwhelmingly beautiful and compelling, reflecting and retaining all at once. I started thinking about the well-known passages from Revelations where John is given a brief glimpse into the heavens to find a chorus existing eternally. I recalled the Psalms when the Psalmist describes the heavens and earth as constantly telling the glories of God. Thinking about the reality that we exist to be apart of this resounding anthem. We are here just for this - all for a King. The King.
The second time I was angry with you was when I was in Hawaii and tasted pineapple there. Why didn't you tell me? "
O PRAISE HIM (ALL THIS FOR A KING)
words and music david crowder
"I've only been angry at the entire human race on two occasions. Well three, but two times I was really angry. Now I know we've done some pretty atrocious things to one another at different moments throughout history so I don't want to appear trite or oblivious to some horrific events that have been apart of our collective experience when sharing my two moments of anger with you. I am not ignoring the wars or marginalized peoples or hate crimes or the holocaust or on and on. No you see these moments are almost expected. Historically we look back and see this as a part of the human condition. But the two moments I really lost it with you guys were not expected. The first time was about 9 yrs ago. It was my first time to fly on a plane. I of course was quite nervous, understandably so. I mean it just makes no sense, a bulk of metal floating in air. I had read about the Bernoulli principle and lift force and all. How lift force is caused because there is more pressure below the wing than above it due to its curved on top, flat on bottom shape. The faster the plane moves, the more air passes above and below the wing, so the greater the difference in pressure. Once the lift force is more than the weight of the airplane, the plane takes off. I had read all of this somewhere. But please, a bulk of metal floating in air?
I was nervous. It was raining outside which added to the nerves. We boarded the plane. I had a window seat. I said hello to the elderly gentleman sitting next to me and told him it was my first time to fly. He started talking about Bernoulli and I said, "I know. Thank you very much." and began reading the emergency evacuation card. I counted the seats between the exit row and me. We taxied to the runway, the pilot announced to us all that we were "cleared for take off" and then I was pressed to my seat by the amount of acceleration necessitated to create enough "lift force". It worked! The Bernoulli principle worked! We climbed through the rain and then disappeared into a gray fog. Looking out the window I could see nothing. Just gray. Gray, gray, gray and then...oh my word. We broke through the clouds and it was the most stunning thing I'd ever seen. The sun was a brilliant orange red just above the horizon, which, was puffy white, almost ocean like, reflecting and retaining color all at the same time. It was heavenly. I couldn't breath it was so gorgeous. As I sat there in complete awe I began to realize I was feeling something completely unexpected. I was angry. I mean really, really angry. I was mad at the old man sitting next to me. I was mad at Bernoulli. I was mad at my parents. I was mad at everyone, all of you. How had no one told me? I knew scores of people who had flown on a plane. Why didn't someone, anyone tell me it was this beautiful? Why hadn't you stopped me on the street and said "so, so sorry, I don't know you at all but you simply must fly in a plane on a cloudy day. It's the most beautiful moment imaginable when you finally burst through the gray. It's so peaceful and angelic up there. Here's $499 go anywhere you like just go now!" I was so mad! I stopped the flight attendant as she walked by and said, "Do you see this? Is that not incredible?" "What?" she said. I hated her. I tell everyone I know about this. I tell you now. It will take your breath away.
I've flown quite often since then. In fact being that most of what I do involves travel I fly most every month and some weeks every day. I always ask for a window seat. And I've grown to love airplanes and Bernoulli. There is this sound that is only the sound of sitting in an airplane. The sound of air, this whirring hiss that itself is a little angelic. You can cup your hands to your ears almost covering them completely and come close to duplicating it but not quite. You hear that? The only way I know to describe it is airy. Well during one of my flights I was listening to this sound and looking out the window at waves of white clouds with sunlight turning a section of them yellow and this phrase popped into my head, "all this for a king". I had this image of an ocean of angels in song and their voices like none ever heard. English probably not the language of choice and for some reason in my head it seemed like the sound of air, a sound that contained all the pitches and tonal colors at once and was at once overwhelmingly beautiful and compelling, reflecting and retaining all at once. I started thinking about the well-known passages from Revelations where John is given a brief glimpse into the heavens to find a chorus existing eternally. I recalled the Psalms when the Psalmist describes the heavens and earth as constantly telling the glories of God. Thinking about the reality that we exist to be apart of this resounding anthem. We are here just for this - all for a King. The King.
The second time I was angry with you was when I was in Hawaii and tasted pineapple there. Why didn't you tell me? "
Saturday, October 6, 2007
16 Wishes
1. Joy in everything
2. To learn
3. To love all others
4. Self-forgiveness
5. Thankfulness always
6. A secure future
7. A healthy lifestyle
8. An understanding husband in the future
9. A good n ight sleep
10. A crisp fall day
11. A worry-free fall day
12. Comfort
13. A good belly laugh
14. To let go
15. Hope
16. Live a life of His love
musiclists
Music at the Moment:
-The Rocket Summer
-Saosin
-Underoath
-The Format
-The Sounds of Animals Fighting
Music Last Year:
-Emery
-The Devil Wears Prada
-Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
-The Audition
Music from Childhood:
-Backstreet Boys
-Hanson
-B52's
-Nsync
-The Lester Finn Experiment
Music Always:
-Relient K
-Copeland
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Creative
God is in the hands of the creative ones.
He is in the eyes, the ears, the pencil, the fingers of those who make the beautiful.
He guides the brushes; He is in the words of the creators.
For beauty glorifies Him, He is comfortable in beauty because He is a creator, He is The Creator, The Ultimate Creator.
He paints sunsets, He sews petals, He swims in colors.
And as we are filled each morning by the light of the sun, He is creating, forever.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Procrast
Ahh the beauty that is Procrastination... I have two midterms tomorrow and really should by studying..... oh well.
At this moment, I feel as though I am an old blanket that has been torn, put through the wash cycle, patched up, and threadbare. This week, it is as though a force (known as 'midterms' and 'not much sleep') has a hold on one of my threds and is laughing as I trudge through, all the while unraveling... untill there is nothing left but a few scraps, a few small bits that can have no other use but one thing... to be sewn back together by the Great Sewer. I know that when this is all done, He will take what is left of my tattered self and put me back together, steadily and powerfully. He will put the stitches in by hand, each one with love, and each one perfect and beautiful and strong, each one serving a purpose that is great. I may not see them now, but when the haze has cleared from my head and when my concerns are nothing but bits of memories, He will have started His work, and I will be better than new. It is going to be wonderful.
Lord, please help me to be patient through these hazy times, please help me to keep my eyes and ears on you, and please Lord, help me to stay encouraged that your careful hand is working. Please help me to have faith that I will be better than new when this is all over. Thank you for putting me back together.
Amen
At this moment, I feel as though I am an old blanket that has been torn, put through the wash cycle, patched up, and threadbare. This week, it is as though a force (known as 'midterms' and 'not much sleep') has a hold on one of my threds and is laughing as I trudge through, all the while unraveling... untill there is nothing left but a few scraps, a few small bits that can have no other use but one thing... to be sewn back together by the Great Sewer. I know that when this is all done, He will take what is left of my tattered self and put me back together, steadily and powerfully. He will put the stitches in by hand, each one with love, and each one perfect and beautiful and strong, each one serving a purpose that is great. I may not see them now, but when the haze has cleared from my head and when my concerns are nothing but bits of memories, He will have started His work, and I will be better than new. It is going to be wonderful.
Lord, please help me to be patient through these hazy times, please help me to keep my eyes and ears on you, and please Lord, help me to stay encouraged that your careful hand is working. Please help me to have faith that I will be better than new when this is all over. Thank you for putting me back together.
Amen
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