Memories

There are moments when there are so many memories that come at once that they all blend together into this collective unit. These sights and smells and pictures, sometimes snapshots, sometimes extended scenes that flash in front of my visual cortex, and I'm back there, living it again, smelling it, experiencing it again.

My grandma passed away a few years ago after many long battles with cancer. She was light and happiness and strength and celebration all wrapped up into this package with soft hugs and white hair; in the pink house with the brightly colored front door.

She could cook.

My memories of her are so tied up into the taste of her food; I can feel that familiar comfort when my mom makes one of her signature dishes. She knows that not one of our bellies will go away hungry when she makes one of grandma's recipes.

While I was home on spring break a few weeks ago, my family went to go visit my grandpa because he wanted to take us to lunch. My grandpa was such a wonderful partner for my grandma; their personalities fit each other so well. He is strong and has certainly gone through his share of heartache, but seeing the smile on his face helps us all forget that as we share stories over our lunches. The house that they both lived in is quite large and it was time for him to move on from it. We helped him sort through the it and find things that he graciously let us take back to our house. Some things for practical uses (like this sewing kit that I can use at school) and some because they remind us of grandma; a wall decoration or a rug that she had made. She could work with her hands, and I believe that she was happiest making things. She decorated the house, crocheted, painted, designed. The house was filled with her touches everywhere you looked and it just added to the comfort of it all.

While gathering up the items that we would take back, I was flooded with memories. I was always happy in that house, looking and learning from grandma and grandpa. Parts of both of them will be with me always, weather it is the bracelet of grandma's that I am currently wearing, the joy I feel when I smell that familiar casserole cooking, or when I think back and remember how much they both love me. I can only image the flood of memories that my mom was experiencing at that moment. Misty-eyed while looking at grandma's cookbooks, I ask her if this is hard. She admits to being a little sad but I think the grieving is over for my her even though the memories at that moment were rushing back. Grandma will forever be with her in so many ways, I can see similarities in their personalities; their laugh, their soft hugs, and their capability to love. I hope that I can provide moments of joy for my grandchildren the same way grandma and grandpa did (and do) for me and my brother.

Grandpa is happy in his new place. It sounds great from what I've heard of it. He has touches of my grandma throughout and my mom told me that it smells the same way the house did.

There was so much joy in the pink house with the blue door in the harbor town. Family is for life.

Lord, thank you so much for blessing my life with an amazing family. Thank you for the joy and the memories. You created each of us with the capability to love each other and although she is missed, I know that grandma is with you, happy and comfortable in your arms. I will see her in time, because you love me so much that you gave up your life for me, so I can be in your arms as well.
Amen