Once again..

...bored in my Thursday classessssss. The book Im referring to is Praise Habit by David Crowder fyi.

My book is done. I don't think I've been as enlightened by a book since middle school. I was honestly sad because it was done. For lack of a better description, books for me are like movies that keep going and are only interrupted by real life. I love the fact that I can be sad when a book is done because it was filling me. I laughed out loud a number of times (and successfully weirded out those behind me in my sociology class), and I cried.

My day was going down hill and I just wanted to go to sleep, but I didn't was to sleep with a bad taste in my mouth and feeling in my heart so even though I was exhausted, I read just a few pages.... and I am so happy I did. The words I was reading were perfect for what I was experiencing. The hope that was filling me up was so intense and wonderful that I cried.

"Read again how the psalmist attempts description of the indescribable mercies and savings of God. Read as He calls us to someplace above the gray, through the clouds to a place where the king of creation cradles the widows and the orphans and the fallen, where the blind see and goodness is champion. This is our God. There is no love greater or more beautiful. I would stop you in the street to tell you this."

This chapter (including the previous sentences) helped me put life into focus, helped me realize that even though I felt like it at the time, I am not alone and God does raise me out of the grey clouds time and time and time again. So many times, countless times. I could write thousands of notebook pages telling times God and His words lifted me out of the depth, of the black. Time again I slip out, back to the night, I just can't seem to hold on to that but that's part of the beauty his grace. He is patient. He knows I will keep falling, and He is there, waiting... patiently... forever. It fills me and warms me to hear this. I know it, I find it out again and again, and I want to hold on to this feeling forever. I want to share it, scream it out so everyone can feel their hearts full because it is the most beautifully peaceful feeling. Like the Relient K song "When I go down, I go down hard...I lift my eyes to you, I won't look very far cause you'll be there with open arms, to lift me up again."

Thank you for your peace, your saving, your grace, your patience, your love, your forever love. Please give me hope to last in those times when I am falling. Thank you for waiting there with open arms.