Thoughts Late at Night

I scribbled this down as I was laying down to sleep last night... It was written with a few different bands in mind... it all may sound nerdy when it's all done, but oh well... it's incoherent ramblings and probably doesn't make sense.

Their music creates a whole new emotion for me. If my mind is jumbled up and my hands are shaky, or when my shoulders are tense and I can't focus on breathing or real thoughts, the new plane their music creates for me speaks Truth that I can only feel in the chord progressions and instrumentation they arrange. To me, it is obvious that God guides their hands and ears as they produce this music and I can feel Him all the way to the tips of my fingers; like the push of a deep sea tide, or like the visual of a sunrise bringing light and color to all it touches, pouring over the surfaces; like oxygen filling my lungs, the holy sprit fills my body and brain until all I can focus on is the movement of the music and how it helps guide my breathing based on the crescendos and decrescendos of the songs.

Each song takes on a story or life or breathing presence of its own and I find myself experiencing different emotions with each.

While their music is not "perfect" in the technical sense (they are all incredibly talented) there are quick moments of perfection when all the vertebrae of my spine align and the Earth is right. I can feel Him specifially in those moments. But when the music is not "perfect" there is a real quality to it, becuase nothing is perfect truly except the One who created perfection Himself. The moments when the real instrument piano doesnt sync with the keyboard for a few measures for example, makes the music relatable. I think it is Gods way of keeping me focused on the realness of the music to keep my mind from automatically thinking "perfection" when I push play, which is an obvious falsehood.

It's the only thing I rely on to listen to to help me fall asleep when I'm not feeling myself or if I'm thinking sporadically.

The words that were chosen to be a part of the songs have a bit of urgency to them when they describe love (of course), and spirituality but they help outline and guide emotions because It's not only the words portraying these feelings but the combination of strings behind them or the way they are sang and the words. They almost become a part of the instrumentation in that they play an equal part along with the instruments in how I feel when listening to it all. I believe there are moments when His truths about life and human-ness (humanity?) and death and emotion and pain and Himself and my future are given through all of this and for that I am grateful because ultimately I want to become a part of bringing some of those truths to the world around me.